


Ice Melts Slowly

by mockingjaybee



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, POV Steve Rogers, Pining, Post-Canon, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 01:45:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8383093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mockingjaybee/pseuds/mockingjaybee
Summary: Steve didn't know why he didn't think of this sooner, and it completely makes sense. It truly was the only way.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! this is my first anything in the stucky verse! just a small little bit of an idea popped into my head, and wanted to post it. hop you like it! 
> 
> betaed by @Krissielee because she is actual gift and is amazing and willing to beta in a fandom she isn't a part of.

Steve couldn’t sleep, well, not so much as _couldn’t_ as it was that he simply didn’t want to. Sleeping meant nightmares, or really, just as bad, dreams about Bucky. The nightmares he could honestly handle; he knew they weren’t real. Sure, it would take him a couple of minutes waking up screaming, just being full of sheer terror, and then he would remind himself he was _home_ and _safe_ and start saying all the little details about himself, something some therapist told him to do. What he favorite food was, his exact address, the color of Bucky’s eyes. 

 

And that’s when he would start to cry. When he had said that even when he had nothing, he had Bucky, he meant that, and when he woke up, the second he remembered the love of his life was dead, the feeling of being hollow hit him again. Except. 

 

 _Except_. 

 

This time, this time Bucky _wasn’t_ dead. Well, truthfully he never was dead, but that wasn’t the point. But, it was the point. Bucky had never died. Steve would never be able to forgive himself for not finding Bucky before Hydra did. Part of him, the logical, sane part of him, knew it wasn’t his fault, what happened to his best friend. But Steve had a hero complex and had good old fashioned Catholic guilt on top of that, so blaming himself felt right, natural. 

 

T’Challa had told him he could stay as long as he liked, and the king meant it. Steve wanted to earn his keep, but was told kindly but forcefully he had done enough and deserved a break. That left him to start thinking way too much, about everything. He missed Bucky. God, he missed him so much it _hurt_ , and Steve could often be found just sitting in the lab, next to the cryo tube, with a blank stare on his face. No one ever thought to tell him to leave, or anything. Not like he would anyway.

 

But waiting was getting to be too hard. Sure, Steve met with Tony--he truly did owe it to the man, and while Tony didn't want to kill him or Bucky anymore, he didn't exactly want to be friends either. Tony was surprised that Steve would help when asked, just like Clint or Wanda or Sam would (as well as that Scott guy). He just didn't want to be Captain America anymore. 

 

He explained to Tony that he no longer had faith in the government, or really anyone except a few people, Tony being one of them. Steve was a man without a home, sure, but he would fight to save the world. Twice Tony has called asking for help, and Steve went each time, T’Challa coming along as well. It felt right fighting to save people, but he honestly just didn't want to anymore. He was sick of fighting. He wanted peace. 

 

He wanted Bucky. 

 

Before Bucky went back into cryo they had talked, of course. Steve truly understood why his best friend, his _everything_ , needed to go back under, to be safe and to keep others safe as well, but Steve was selfish, really, when it came to Bucky. 

 

At the end of their talk, Bucky had pulled Steve close to him, gripped the blonde’s waist tightly and smiled softly, almost shyly with his grey eyes twinkling, and kissed Steve quickly, and Steve remembered sighing into the kiss, putting one hand on Bucky’s right shoulder and tangling one in the brunet's hair. Bucky had groaned and deepened the kiss, tongue gently moving against Steve’s own. But before Steve had time to think Bucky pulled back and kissed him chastely and huffed out a shaky breath. 

 

“Soon, Stevie. I promise,” Bucky nearly whispered. Steve could remember nodding but not letting go, not being able to let his best guy go. Bucky seemed to understand Steve’s need to be close. Bucky took his hand and led them to his bedroom, and they fell asleep holding each other, like they used too. 

 

Morning had come too soon for either of them, and Steve had to ask one more time if Bucky was sure about this. Of course Bucky was sure and of course it was the right thing to do. 

 

Which brought on a new set of nightmares for Steve: what if he died before Bucky was able to be free? Too many questions were running through Steve’s head. He needed to rest. He needed a break. 

 

He needed _time_.

 

Once Steve realized what he needed to do, the choice was easy, so simple he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought about it before now. It was time for him to go back into the ice as well.

It was truly the only way.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! comments and kudos make me squeal in public! con-crit is completely welcomed!
> 
> join me on tumblr? i post sneak peaks of my fics there @mockingjaybeevicious


End file.
